i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
