I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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