Plan B is the new Plan A
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
