When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
