what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Randomize
