This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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