cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
