Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
