brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
