I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
