There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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