I hate your face
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I checked into jail on foursquare
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
