I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
