We're like a lot better than the average bears
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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