Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
