i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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