people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
