I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
