We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
