It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
