everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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