literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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