do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
