So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize