this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
