he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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