he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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