i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
