They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize