At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
