help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
