There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
