i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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