So drunk its hurt
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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