it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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