I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
