Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
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