So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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