its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
