Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
