What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
