i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
