I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
love makes seman taste better
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
