There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
