New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
