i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
