his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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