That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
