You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I still have a little drunk in my system
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
