she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
