ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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