If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
