i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She's the barista slut.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Panties = found
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
