Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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