is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
