you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
