Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
