apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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