brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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