we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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