that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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