Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
