She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
