He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
